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Sunday, August 7, 2011


Aero Bar in Miami Beach, FLImage via Wikipedia

Just visited my good friend Dorothy of Womensselfesteem blogspot. Her last post is about why couples lose interest, or that loving feeling.
It made me think, why?

I am no expert, but picture this, you look at your partner and there is no spark. What do you do, you still love him or her, but the flame is burning mighty low, little or no spark left.

From a man's point of view, or should I say my point of view, boring routine, same thing everyday could be the reason. You get up, you go to work, you come home, you eat, you sleep, you get up, you go to work...blah blah, blah fish paste. You basically live right past each other.
There is no excitement in the relationship anymore, no flame, no spark.

All is not lost, there is a way to get it back. How you ask. Again, this is purely my opinion as a non-expert.

My solution: Go back in time, go back to what you have done those many years ago when you were dating. Start dating again, make appointments, meet each other for a romantic dinner. Example: dress up like you used to when you were still dating, like when you still tried to impress him with your best assets. But do not dress together, dress at different venues, meet each other at the restaurant, or night club, or where ever you used to go when you were younger.

Tip: Do not dress like this...

Rather dress like this:

Or like this....

Be bold, be adventurous, daring, dress to impress, be an eye catcher, kick ass sexy. If you plan to meet at a night club, sit at different tables at first. Make eye contact, flirt, ask him to dance, use your imagination.

Go home in separate cars, the girl first, wait for him, open the door for him dressed like this....

Or like this...

I'll bet my bottom dollar you will have his heart beating at a fast canter, his breath catching in his throat, and soon he will be all over you! And for the next week he will have you, and only you on his mind.....and more than likely planning the next adventure.

Secret to this is, both parties have to be willing. You need to work together, communicate. This is but one example, there are many other, go away for a dirty weekend, make a date by calling him at work and invite him for a romantic dinner, etc, etc.

Bottom line is, get away from the everyday routine and start living again. Bring that adventurous spirit you had as a young couple, back into your relationship. You are only as old as you allow yourself to be. I am turning 50 in a few days, and the spark is still there, we believe that breaking the routine is very important to keep a relationship hot and moving. However, and I think it is important to keep this in mind, it is not always easy, we have two kids, both of us work, just like any other couple, but we make sure that we fit those alone together quality moments into our schedule, even if only once a week.

For the guys I attach an article with a few great tips.

Example: Yolande dressed as a cowgirl for a country and western dance we went to. (We love dancing, and we go dancing quite a lot) Take it from me, a night out dancing always adds fuel to the love flame.

Let us know how you keep the love flame burning high, I am sure you use other ways, share with us.

Take care and enjoy the rest of the week.

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Festy said...

Great post!
Have a nice day!

Cafe Fashionista said...

Kate Beckinsale always looks so incredible - love her! :)

Anonymous said...

wonderful post and great advice. We make sure to go on dates despite being together so long. I love meeting him for dinner after work. I never get bored of his company. We both dress up and and it feels so fresh and new.

Natasha said...

how do I keep a love flame burning... some people have mortgages and loans, I have a closet full of 5 inch platforms and a drawer full of stockings... and he has a honda honnet ;)

The Seeker said...

What a great post with smart tips to help couples run of routine.
Yes, there's nothing worst than keeping the same routine over and over.

Hope everything is fine with you and your lovely family, Colin.

Take care, be happy :-)

Make Mommy Chic said...

Hi Colin, what a fantastic post! Like you mentioned, life gets in the way sometimes of spending quality time together, and you need to make that extra effort to keep the spark alive. Even if you have to scheduele a take out dinner after the kids go to sleep it's better then not planning anything at all. And I definitely agree with dressing to impress, nothing says unsexy like a pair of stained sweatpants and an oversize t-shirt. You and your wife are proof even long time married couples can still keep it hot and heavy. What an inspiration! Thanks for the post :)

Pratishtha Durga said...

I know what this post really means, Colin. My first marriage whittled away while I was too busy taking care of ailing grandfather (his), ailing mother (mine), a father diagnosed with cancer (mine), and marriage caught in too much work and not enough play. We lost each other.

But I learned my lesson. I know now that you must never be too busy for your partner. I use food as common grounds. We cook exotic meals together, and I serve them on my little terrace. Even if we are tired, I make it a point to do something special for the evening, like dress up for dinner, or go out for a drive post dinner, or just sit and chat.

Great post.

FashionJazz said...

Really great post with some really great advice : )

I have been with my plus one guy for almost 7 years, so I agree with everything you suggested, you have to make an effort...

Have a awesome Thursday x

Couture Carrie said...

Great tips!


Ann said...

Nice one!

Dressing up is one
helpful and fun thing to bring back
sparks in the relationship.

Love those Kate Beckinsale pics,
she always look gorgeous,
and she seems to have a really good marriage, Len obviously adores her.

kirafashion said...


I miss you my friend! How are you ? I see you are great and thanks for featuring your gorgeous wife...she is so great!
About me? I'm fine, but I miss South Africa!
all my love for you and for this blessed country!

love from Brazil,


Natasha said...

like your new blog header. it's sexy... and those heels are to die for :)

Dorothy L said...

Grrrr jst lost my comment.... soooo in short, both partners are equally responsible to share the chores of day to day reality and both are responsible in making plans to get away together to share that sexy feeling tat both miss and are most definitely deserving of~

Andréa Guimarães said...

ola, debtor for its viisita tries to follow me goes to be legal to have you in mine blog, waits its visits, shortly places in its blogs that you follow.

Natasha said...

Thank you very much for visiting my not-so-plain website, Colin :)
p.s. I just checked out your blogroll, it has some really good blogs. Also, I have found links to blogs that no longer exist (like this one I don't wish to be a smart @ss.. Just a friendly pointer! :)

MaxiVelasco said...

Hello Colin!

Great to be back here again.

Oh.. it happens.. the flame dies out but you can make it burn again well, using the tips you've given above.

WE're together for four years now and the flame's still burning a lot [luckily].

Have a great day. Hugs!

The Girlie Blog said...

Wonderful suggestions! After a baby, it is definitely hard to bring that old spark back. However, we do try. And yes, I need to dress like "This" more often.

Tights Lover said...

I agree. I think flip-flops should be outlawed...hahaha.

Rachel {Da Paura ♥} said...

Hi there, thanks for your sweet comment! This is a great post, and great advice. My husband knows he doesn't have to worry about how I will dress on a date. Always to kill. :) I agree with you and the comment above - absolutely hate flip flops!!!


Thank_Q said...

I am so tweeting this. Excellent post! I think your advice is spot-on and it can do a lot towards reigniting that flame. But who is that in the first "Dress Like This" photo in the black? Wow.

Istituto Marangoni said...

FIT New York
nice post, thanks for sharing....

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